--------------
Template in courtesy of
psychokid.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

heyy. havent blogged for a VERY long tym. kinda lazy to type. and also, got lotsa stuff to do. like lit ppt, eng ppt, lit report, malay, n oh, not forgetting beloved math!! there're still tests.. like chem n math, n more upcoming ones. i dunt believe it. itz only d start of term 2 n we're burdened with tests n hwk. i dun get d educatn system tt's gg ard here. 1st dey believe tt cca is d essential thing tt makes us discover more of ourselves than wad we can discover in classrooms; like teamwork, coordination, leadership blah bla bla......

the irony is, hwk is given in loads; tt most students end up copying(which isnt d point of education as we're not learning anythg), assignments dumped to students by every tcher as if all d otha tchers nv gib similar workload, tests r so near each otha n im not sure if students r studying for d sake of learning or juz plain studying like a blardi-fool juz to pass n oblivious to b street-smart; which is wad u need in d outside world. seriously, of all d things d ministers tok abt which make ppl go gaping in awe, like dey r trying to develop sense of responsibility n wad shits in skool, wad happens to social life? do u count CIP part of socialising?? i mean u meet all ur frens n tchers in skool n tok to dem, crap, wadever. but wad abt wid ur family members, relatives, grandparents n aunts n aunties n cuzzins? s'poreans r oredy bad in socialising skills n language(both motha toungue n eng mind u), n by supressing dem to tink tt dis world is full of nothing else but failing of math, physics, wad kinda thot r u giving. stressing dem at an early age also helps every1 to feel jaded. d last i heard was, K2 students r learnign multiplication tables. i mean deres more to life than failing math or physics. but wad d skool is pointing out is, alahh im not sure la. but if dis goes on, i wunt d surprised if suicide rates go higher, or unemployment increases in d near future. n another thing is, y many ppl go astary when facing problems is bcoz dey lack religious faith. whetther dey come frm a religious backgrd or not, itz up to dem demselves to seek their own God in times like those. many ppl r free thinkers, others; not devout, or perhaps juz having their religion as a letterhead; call urself a Muslim but dunt pray dun do anthg. now itz only when u attend religious clsses or talks, u mite find deres more to life than juz doing hwk until 1am n coming to skool so early, n still fail in ur subjects. i believe every1 needs a religion to believe in. haha im preaching oredy.............

itz been more than a wk since my grandmother passed away. like if ure reading this, u mite perhaps wanna sedekah-kan Al-Fatihah. anw i received a call on fri nite tt she tengah nazak. so me n my mum rushed to my aunty's house, where she lived. i missed her last breath by one or two mins. it was sad n juz sad. most of my aunts n uncles were dere coz we lived a few blocks away frm each otha only. tears flowed freely. i saw her 4 hrs earlier, to gib her sum food. n she gave me a ten dollar note to share wid my siblings. she was still smiling n cheery. it kinda pains to write this, but i feel like writing. so all tt happend at ard mn. aft tt, every1 hu was dere helped to shift tables n furniture ard to accomodate d peniziarahs we're gonna have d next day. she lay on a bed n it faced d kiblah. ppl started reading Ya-Sin n i managed to read it abt twice on tt nite. tym passed very slowly. by 3am my aunt n uncle frm johore reached d crammed hdb flat. i had a musyawarah(meeting lar) wid 9 of her children. d last one was still travelling down frm kl. so diff ppl were incharge of diff stuff. like my elder aunts will bathe d deceased, hu to call d muslim casket etc. i had to follow my cuzzins to buy drinks in d morn. my grand-aunts n all tt started to come at 4am.

went hm at 4.30 n slept for ard 2hrs. my cuzzin frm johor oso slept at my house coz my aunts house was packed wid ppl paying respects. at 6 plus i called firdaus, lysa n cikgu to tell em im not gg to sajak competition.(all d hard work during march hols went down d drain, practically) aft tt got dressed for d funeral n went to d house again,wid my cuzzin. he was still drowsy, many ppl were la. read Yasin for 2nd tym b4 my aunt drove me n my cuzzins to nearest ntuc to buy drinks. tink by 10am on sat, ard 200 ppl had come, sum stayed for d later prayers while others paid their respects n left for otha business. by 12nn d deceased was oredy given a bath n cleaned. all her children, grandchildren, sisters n bros sprinkled d wangi-wangian(oragne coloured thing) n flowers n kissed her for d last tym. itulah kali terakhir ku kucup dahimu.. tears were running even freely. i still remembered d last tym i kissed her hand 12hrs ago.. i realized d importance of salam org. n then, d women prayed for d deceased at hm, led by my last uncle. aft tt she was brot to d mosque for d guyz to pray. so b4 tt we had a mini-tahlil by d ustad dere. aft tt was zohor prayers. finally, my eldest uncle led d last prayers for my grandma. we then proceeded wid doa n everythink b4 gg to d grave. i was supposed to carry d air bunga thing. when we reached there, i carried d batu nisan. my unlces juz ordered me to carry. it was cool n drizzling. d pallbearers carried d body to d grave site. three ppl(one's my third uncle) lowered her six feet under. innocence, being wrapped in white. now its high class tt a bulldozzer is used to pour soil down. anw once she was in d grave, d rain poured harder. rahmat i wud say. d ustad read d talkin. sth like "mungkar&nangkir itu benar, kematian itu benar, neraka dan syurga itu pun benar" an all d doa n everytink. n d batu nisan was put in place n sum1 else poured d water over the grave. both journeys to n fro, i sat beside d coffin. like van mayat u noe. distributed d drinks. went back sum1 bought nasi briyani. 50 packets. n other rice like chicken rice i tink. i was hungry siinnce morn din haf breakfast.

ok.. ive gotta go now. so tts all for wad happened on tt day. i wanna say ty to all dose hu have sent condolonces to me in skool. thanks for ur support yea. n to those hu didnt i gezz u havent opened up yet. wad can i say when u tink tt silence is d bez thing to do. anw its ncie to hear sum1 saying nice stuff to u aft d demise of ur loved one.